Yesterday was probably one of the worst days in my toddler motherhood experience. At least it feels that way now. Nothing tragic happened. No one was injured and no one is sick. We’re all still here.
But, man it sucked!
Motherhood is just really hard some days!
Just for fun, I’l share a quick version of the story…
Everything seemed fine until lunch. Then, Abigail refused to take her nap and everything went down hill from there. You know those days, right?!
I was on a conference call and she decides at the moment I need to speak she needs to start freaking out for no real reason. And, then she acts insane for most of the remainder of the day. I’m not proud of how I responded. I yelled. I don’t want to be a mom that yells. She was crying, I wanted to cry. It was just a mess.
It finally got to the point where I just couldn’t deal anymore. So, thankfully it was bedtime. I mean… I thought it was. But somehow this child that was completely physically and emotionally exhausted would not go to sleep, despite my bribe of rewards the next day if she would JUST LAY DOWN.
Yes, I bribed my child…juice, chocolate, a movie. I didn’t care at that point. I’m not proud but this is just motherhood some days. At least for me.
But, even the bribes weren’t working. And, I was done.
Friends… I was done!
Tuesdays are my husband’s day to attend a late evening class and have some breathing time afterwards. Well, I called him before his class was even over and said he needed to come home… NOW.
He came home and I told him I had to step out. So, instead of doing something relaxing like take a book to a coffee shop, I decide to go to the laundromat. Our amazing little washer/dryer combo just hasn’t been keeping up with 4 people lately so I figured this was a good time to catch up. At least there wouldn’t be screaming kids there this late at night.
So, I get to the laundromat and the machine proceeds to eat my money and not wash my clothes. Once I switch machines and get everything going, I decide to walk down to a little café to have a moment while my clothes are washing.
OK, the truth is I was going to sit at the bar and have the best glass of red wine they had while I read my book.
But, as I approach the restaurant excited about this 30 minutes of bliss in my day, I realize the restaurant is closed, like closed down…out of business. There is nothing else close by. I walk back to the laundromat and watch my clothes swish around…fun times. I know I could have read my book, but I just couldn’t. Have you ever been there?
Then, I head home. I plan to have a relaxing bath and go to bed.
But, Wait…There’s More
But, as I get out of the car, I hear screaming. Like, I’m surprised the police weren’t at our house investigating! It was Bennett. He was having some really bad 2 year molar teething pains.
Y’all…I can’t even explain.
So, for the next hour I try to help. My husband tells me to let him handle it so I head to a bath. Finally, a while after midnight, he settles down and we head to bed…until he wakes me back up at 2:30 am. Anyway, it was a day…and a night!
I was disappointed in myself for how I responded to things. I wish I had acted differently. It was just a hard motherhood day. I didn’t savor the moments. Quite frankly, I hated a lot of the moments.
What’s the Solution?
So, what do we do when motherhood sucks?
On these days, let’s do our best to breathe. Let’s also give ourselves grace. And, let’s give our kids grace too. I definitely could have done a better job of that yesterday! I know I’ll still lose it sometimes but I’m going to do my best to learn from it. Let’s also try to remember that our hard is often someone else’s easy.
The good news is the next day is a fresh new start…with no mistakes in it… yet. And, even when a mistake happens, the next moment is a chance to start over. We don’t have to wait for the new day.
Sometimes motherhood is just going to suck. And, that’s OK.
But, maybe when given the choice, choose the coffee shop over the laundromat 😉
For more encouragement, check out some of my other posts at forthloveofadoption.com