I don’t think our adoption story is typical.
I got an itch for adoption many years ago…like 15 or so. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, but our own, that it took so long. I guess we just thought the stars needed to align before we dove in. Like, we needed to have plenty of money, the perfect house, the perfect jobs, the perfect life. You know. Like everyone else has before they have kids. (insert sarcasm).
But, in hindsight, I know the reason was two-fold.
- We weren’t ready 15 years ago. Not because of money or living in a small house or any of that. God just hadn’t finished preparing us.
- Our kids, the ones we were meant to adopt, weren’t conceived yet.
I know without a doubt that the kiddos we ended up adopting were the ones always meant for us. I mean, don’t get me wrong. They drive us CRAZY many days, but they are 100% ours! And, we love them like nothing else! They were absolutely worth the wait!
So, how did we know adoption was right for us? And, how did we know when it was time to step up and start truly pursuing adoption? Honestly, it all fell into place when we started to take a single step and it led to the next.
At first, 15 years ago or so, when we took the first step of doing a little research it didn’t lead anywhere. Why? I believe it’s because the timing wasn’t right. But, 7 years ago when we took a step to attend an adoption orientation it did lead to the next step and then the next…naturally.
God was showing us that it was time.
So, ultimately, the timing was exactly as it was supposed to be.
Our faith is really what kept the adoption dream alive. We knew many years ago that we were being called to build our family through adoption. But we didn’t know how or when. And we honestly thought we would never be able to afford it. Overcoming that hurdle was huge in helping us move forward.
There is no way we would have hung on to our adoption dream for so long if it wasn’t a legit calling.
Now, PLEASE don’t misunderstand me! I am not saying you need to wait 15 years to move forward! I’d strongly suggest you don’t! What I’m saying is if you’re called to adopt, and you take the first step in front of you and it leads to the next, and the next, it’s probably time.
When we faithfully started putting one foot in front of the other, things started to happen. When we just thought about adoption, it didn’t happen. Go figure, right? But, when we started to take steps and God gave us peace about moving on to the next step and provided a way, we knew it was time to keep moving forward.
Sometimes something like that might be all you need to hear to move forward. Other times, you might be looking for something more tangible to decide if you’re ready.
So how do you really know when adoption is right, and that the timing is right?
1. You can’t stop thinking about adoption.
When the adoption bug first bit, it was on my mind but it came and went. But after some time passed, it consumed my thoughts. It was like I had to do something about it. It was clear this was NOT supposed to be one of those things I thought about and never did anything about it. I needed to move forward.
Are you feeling like adoption could be the way you build or add to your family? Are you drawn to reading things, like this, that help you think about adoption on a deeper level? Or, maybe like me, you just know in the depths of who you are that you are meant to adopt. You just might not be sure what it will all look like yet, or how exactly it will happen. That’s OK!
If you can’t stop thinking about adoption. And, if things keep pointing you toward adoption, don’t ignore that! That could very well be how to know that adoption is right for you.
2. Your spouse is feeling the pull too.
Although I was the one that got the ball rolling, it did not take long for my husband to jump on board. I know in some cases your spouse might not be sure about adoption. It might take them some time to warm up to the idea. This can be especially true if your dream was to have a biological child but you have had to let that dream go. But, if you get to the point that your spouse is very open, or even drawn, to adoption, that could be a good sign that it’s time to move forward.
If you’re having conversations with your spouse about adoption. And, if you both feel interested in pursuing it, or at least learning more, that could be one way to know adoption may be right for you.
3. You start to see the bigger picture.
When you first consider adoption, chances are there are more unanswered questions than answered. But once something truly becomes a passion or calling, you start to find a way to figure things out. As you do so, the picture starts to become clearer. You will start to come across information that answers some questions.
Or, if funding adoption is a concern you might figure out how to gather the funds you need. Or, you may come across an adoption agency you feel like you’d like to work with. The point is that when the picture starts to become a little clearer, that’s a big deal! That’s a guiding light. That could be how to know you’re ready to move forward.
4. You’re dreaming of your child.
When you open your heart to adoption, there are so many things to consider. What age are you open to? What race? And, so many more. Although you will never know exactly what your adopted child will be like, you will probably start to dream. You may know what name you’ll choose. Maybe you know that you’re leaning toward domestic or international adoption. You might enjoy spending time imagining what she/he might look like. What will your child’s personality be like? The point is when you start dreaming of your child, you may be ready to take the next step toward meeting that child.
With all that said, if you are open to adoption, take a step in that direction. If that step leads to another, keep moving forward.
I’m rooting for you!